Wedding of Adam and Megan.
See these shots from Adam and Megan’s wedding in South Carolina.
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Joshua
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Joshua
Another Friend Lost
Yahya.
I’ll always remember first hearing the name of this little guy, as it stuck out from the majority of our surgery kids.
Yahyah.
I’d never heard it before, and I liked him already.
When I met him, I remember being struck quite powerfully by this one thought: the dark fear of his eyes seemed noticeably misfit for a child with such a cheerful name. I was expecting an energetic little Iraqi child, full of smiles and a cute laugh. What I saw was a child without hope, and eyes to show it.
He was shy, and clung to his mother.
My role, as the photographer, was to play around with the kids, goof around with them so they grew comfortable with me, and by the end of the meeting, have photographs to send out to the world, sharing of their need and seeking financial support.
With Yahya, there was no response to my attempts at play. A scared little boy, he sat between his parents for as long as he could before being sent out from them as talks progressed into the “worst-case scenarios” portion of the meeting.
I couldn’t seem to break his fear-(and I had grown fairly efficient at it from the many past children sent to surgery).
I tried and tried with no success. As the photograph shows, Yahya seemed to recognize the severity of his situation more than expected….more than he should have for such a young child. It’s as though his eyes reveal the thoughts within: “Why smile?” they ask. “I’m dying. And I feel it. My heart is slowly failing, growing weaker and weaker with each heartbeat and there is no hope of salvation, so why smile?”
I so desperately wanted access to this mind, to shake him and scream in his face that there was hope, he could survive. But my heart broke. To look into the eyes of a child, black as these and search for hope, but find none is one of the most life-stealing experiences possible.
I didn’t give up on him though, and goofed around all the more, joking in English, joking in Kurdish, taking photos with my camera and letting him see them.
And then,
finally,
he cracked.
He smile for me. And to this day, few smiles have been more rewarding to me than this brief, almost hidden smile of an Iraqi child near to death.
Today, I learned this little Yahya lost his fight.
It was unexpected – he was actually projected to survive, his chances were good. But, the heart of the boy with the hidden smile had too little strength left to keep fighting. He finally gave in to death.
And so today, I mourn the death of a friend – another child who’s eyes will now haunt me, who’s smile will now bring tears as they do now, and who’s memory will never be forgotten.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’oon.
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Joshua
The Writing Has Begun.
The story of how I fled Iraq has begun.
It has taken a while to fully digest it all, and weigh the consequences of publishing such a story.
In the end, I see more value in sharing it than keeping it to myself, as difficult and sensitive as some parts may be.
I’m not even sure if anyone has visited this in quite some time, so this very well may be all for my own good, but nonetheless, it will soon be up.
From New London, CT, USA
Joshua
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Joshua
I’m Home – An Update From the United States of America
Friends, I am safely back in America.
After a quite terrifying experience of fleeing Iraq, I am home.
After many dedicated hours spent thinking through whether or not it was wisest, I’ve decided to share with you the story of my experience leaving the country.
It will follow shortly….
In the mean time, I genuinely thank you for the many prayers you have covered me with in these past few weeks. Like never before in my life, I have literally felt the prayers said for me – and I assure you it was this which brought me safely home to America.
For now,
Safely from the United States of America,
Joshua
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Joshua
Life in Iraq Update:
Salaam.
Since I’m not entire sure how long this will take to write, nor how long electricity will allow me to type for, I need to just write.
I have need to update you all on some changes that have happened recently and to again request your prayers as I attempt to best please the Lord with my upcoming decisions.
I want you all, as my supporters to know that given the 1st of September this year, I will no longer be working with the Preemptive Love Coalition. I have formally removed myself from the team upon the conclusion of our “Remedy Mission” which will conclude with Ramadan at the end of August.
It has been a tremendously hard decision, it has caused many hours of lost sleep, many tears, and an overall test of my faith. In the end though, I am confident this has been the correct choice. For various reasons, all of which painfully thought through, I do not believe I am able to commit 100% of myself to PLC and sign off fully on its contract. Some reasons are based on revision made to the contract I would have to sign, some on further, more serious thoughts on things I have been told already, some just pertaining to more serious times of thinking about my future.
This is for the best – if I am not in a place where I can say I am fully on-bard with PLC, it will only make life more stressful and tense in an already difficult living environment….and not only for myself, but especially for the other team members who have placed their full passion and energy into PLC. It is draining on both parties if one member cannot say he is entirely bought in. And so, in what I think will benefit all, I feel right about leaving. This decision, and the many conversations with the director and his wife leading up to this decision have been at times, stingingly painful. In a region with few Americans, and especially few Jesus following Americans, those of us who are here inevitably grow close. Particularly for me, having been here last year, and then again this year, I have grown very close to the family I have lived and worked with for these near 10 months. I have been drawn into their family and feel a part of it. Its to be expected I suppose when you live and work and pray and fellowship and cry and laugh and eat and joke and picnic together. Its a strange thing actually – as I thought back on it, I have spent more consistent time with this family here in Iraq than I have anyone since my senior year of high school. After graduation, I was always in transition – from Connecticut to Ohio to Connecticut to Boston to Ohio to Connecticut to Chicago to Ohio to Connecticut. I haven’t spent six straight months in any one of these places. And so, it is fitting I should feel as though a real piece of my heart were being pulled apart – I have grown attached and attached to here, especially with this family. I feel as though their kids are my own brother and sister…..babysitting, changing diapers, playing the ridiculously epic games only kids can play with you. We’ve done it all. I love them dearly and will miss them terribly.
I want to pause and make sure to address one very important point.
I am leaving on good terms.
Free of bitterness or a lack of respect for them or the work they do here. My decision to leave the Preemptive Love Coalition should not in any way be seen as a disapproval of the team or its work here. As I wrote, for varying reasons, this is not the team for me, but you will not hear from me words of slander. These people are good people, and it matches the good work they do here. Both now, as a a member of this team and when I evolve to someone outside it – I stand in support of the Preemptive Love Coalition.
Now, (and without trying to make this too long) this does not entirely answer all questions, thought it certainly does make things a little easier. Simply because I am removing myself from PLC, this does not necessarily mean I will be returning to America. As I have said before, I have felt drawn here by the Lord….drawn to this land, to work with these people. My adaptation to this culture, (including, in no small part, my adaption to a land dominated by Islam), my ability to live here quite well, and speak a decent bit of the language – these things make thinking about leaving it forever difficult. When I told this to my dear friends Diyar and Tayma, a young married couple from Baghdad, they looked at each other and chuckled. I was a bit confused, as I thought it was a pretty serious conversation so I asked them why they were laughing. They said they knew exactly what was wrong with me, and it was impossible to cure. They said it had gotten to me, that I was one who has fallen prey to it. In the Arabic it’s سحر الشرق meaning “The Magic of the East”. They said it affects certain people who come here, and I am one of them. Once they come to the East, they will never be able to entirely leave it, it will always be drawing them back. When they told me this, it was as though someone had stolen the thoughts from my mind and put them into words and spoken them to me. I was a bit taken back a the exactness of its description of my situation.
And so, here I am. Seemingly stuck in a life-long love affair with the Middle East, yet with a future very unknown.
The Lord has done something in me He does not do for everyone….He has placed these people on my heart in a special way…..and I want to use that. Perhaps that means working with Arab and Kurdish refugees in America….perhaps it means a life lived here in this country. I am open to the Lord’s guidance. Either way, I truly do not feel I will be done with this place, even when my plane lands again in America someday.
Alas, سحر الشرق how you have wooed me.
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Bri DuPree
brother, i will be praying for you and the Lord’s direction. thank you for updating us and letting us know how we can praying. i find myself in a similar boat, since ive been interning here in Kensington. the Lord has placed the people of this city on my heart in a special way and im pretty sure ill be back here once im done at the ‘ville. love you!
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Joshua
Water UPDATE!
It came.
Praise be to Allah, it came.
:)
My water tank - just about full tonight!
You have no idea just how beautiful this is to me.
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Dad
Nice to see you and hear that you have water again. Nice haircut……
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Lynnebee
another something we take for granted
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Schehrazad
This brings back many many memories, yay al maee eja :)
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Joshua
Today is Day Six Without Water
There are few things more….discomforting that turning the spigot to your water and having but a few drops come out. Its quite terrible, and in fact, a bit eerie to me, as though what you’re experiencing just shouldn’t be….
Today is day six. I need water. There is no schedule for water, the government decides when to send it, and when not to….when to start it and when to stop its delivery. The sound of water rushing through the pipes and into my tank seems like faded memories….
It’s been around 110 degrees fahrenheit this past week and when water is short, it feels all the hotter. I have no water to wash dishes with, no water to do laundry with, no water to shower with. I’ve saved bit of water in a tank to splash on my face when I wake up in the mornings, but I use it as sparingly as possible, as though its value has reached that of gold in my house.Water, please come.
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Joshua
My Photographs Published By Metrography!
Its an exciting day for me here.
The story I wrote yesterday, and the photographs that went with it were chosen by Metrography and published on their site here – Metrography
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Joshua
Two Kurdish Journalists – Dead
The first, Soran Mama Hama, was killed by unidentified gunmen outside his home in Kirkuk, Iraq on July 21, 2008. He had been investigating police corruption in the city o Kirkuk, particularly the involvement of police and government officials in the growing rings of prostitution. He wrote in his last article, what is being called his report written in blood, “Officers and high-ranking persons of the police, security and other institutions of the city are involved in [the prostitution business of Kirkuk] and they turn a blind eye to, and even facilitate, this phenomenon and participate in it by buying the flesh of these women”. A month later, he was shot dead, his bloody body left on the ground in front of his home.
The second, Sardasht Osman was killed recently, which in turn has revived this regions outrage. In a great article written by friend and journalists here Neil Arun, he writes, “Osman was seized on May 4 as he arrived at the gates of his university in the Kurdish regional capital, Erbil. Unknown men bundled him into a vehicle before driving off into the morning rush-hour. His body was discovered a day later beside a highway in Mosul, a violent city to the west of Erbil. The 23-year-old student of English had reportedly been tortured before being shot twice in the head.” It is widely believed Osman was killed by government officials after publishing a poem in which he expresses love for the Kurdistan President Massoud Barzani’s daughter, and his desire to marry her. In it he wrote, “All my friends said Sardasht, let it go and give it up for otherwise you will get yourself killed. The family of Mulla Mustafa Barzani [Massoud Barzani's father] can kill anyone they want, and they surely will”. If only he had known how true his words would soon prove.
Tonight, I attended a memorial service for them both, partially hosted as far as I could tell, by Reporters Without Borders. In attendance were Kurdish, American, French and Dutch journalists, students, citizens and, most powerfully, the family of the deceased. I apologize for the watermarks on these photographs, given some recent work with the international media, I needed them.
A woman relative of the dead receives flowers and a note from Reporters Without Borders - a tremendous display of solidarity.
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Joshua
Aso’s Dancing Bus from Joshua Gigs on Vimeo.
Aso is my best friend here in Iraq and has recently begun working as a bus driver in the city. The Kurds in the north are known for their spontaneous dancing, and thus it is never a surprise to watch a bus drive by with all its passengers up and dancing with music blaring from the open windows.
On this day, one of my dear American friend Ben’s last in country, we finally decided to turn Aso’s bus into a dancing bus – and it was incredible.
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Jessica
that made me laugh. so glad you posted.
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sterling
this is great!
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Jeremy H.
Oh my goodness, this filled my heart with so much joy (and laughter)… truly amazing!
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anonymous is discussing. 
Schehrazad, 
Lynnebee, and 
Dad are discussing. 
Jeremy H., 
sterling, and 
Jessica are discussing. 
anonymous 9:34 am on March 5, 2011 Permalink
Makes us long for the day when He will come and make ALL Things New. Makes us long for our eternity with no goodbyes, with no tears, and with no disease. Come Lord Jesus Come.
Today I will pray for his family, you, and all those who grieve this loss. The children who are being treated. The friends you have left behind there who still need to know. The turmoil in that country.